I can’t think.

Have you ever had one of those days where you just can’t think?

I have gone upstairs at least five times today to do the same thing. Every time i get up there, i have forgotten what i was going up there for. I finally had to repeat it out loud as I walked up the stairs so I wouldn’t forget. If anyone in the place behind mine is home they might think I’m a little off. With every step I’m chanting “hair tie, charger, jacket” or they think I’m trying to invent something really weird. Either way, I can’t wait to not be where people hear me do weird things.

I have been trying to write something for about an hour now, in that time i have gone back and forth on wanting to make a coffee and not wanting to get up. I already made a coffee today, its sitting next to me, I just forgot I have it. On top of that, everything i have tried to write today has been total nonsense babble that even bores me when i read it back.

I think I’m just having a really rough day. I have had a pretty rough week actually. My husband’s grandpa passed away on Monday, which was something we knew was coming. I feel bad saying it, but I’m not really affected by it. I mean I’m sad, but I barely knew him, so I’m not full of grief. We’ve been dealing with the aftermath of all of that and taking care of his parents and making sure his grandma is alright.That same day, we found out we got the house that I wanted so bad and we’ve been dealing with the financing of it.

So Im a little sick (i feel like I have the flu, but I don’t have a fever?) I’m a little sad, and Im pretty stressed out. Its making my brain not want to cooperate with me.

Hows your week going?

 

 

We found a house

I never knew how terrifying buying a house would be. My anxiety is at an all time high and I just want to curl into a ball and say fuck this.

We FINALLY found a house we love and they accepted our offer. Now we move to the financing stage of this whole terrifying process.  I feel like I am walking into a dark room blindfolded. It’s the first big adult life choice my husband and I are making together, and it’s exciting. I also want to hide and let him deal with all of it until it’s over so I don’t have to play the “what if” game over and over again.

It has a few cosmetic things that need to be fixed, but it’s pretty, and big, but not too big. It has a decent back yard and a hot tub. Enough rooms to make me feel like if we ever have children we don’t have to move or add on. Its nearly perfect.

I really can’t wait to go scrub every inch of that house and make it my own. I can’t wait to paint the walls whatever color I like without someone telling me I can’t. I can’t wait to hang pictures on the wall using nails and screws instead of tacks and a lot of hoping it won’t fall!

Mostly I can’t wait to move somewhere where I can’t hear my neighbor pee in the middle of the night. I won’t have to hear the crazy couple adjacent to me fighting. I won’t have to worry if it’s too late to do my laundry, just in case my washer starts jumping.

I’m nervous, excited and scared, all in one feeling. I’m eager to start this new chapter in our life. I really hope we don’t fail.

I might be the most interestingly boring person ever

I have been a lazy sick human lately, and i can’t for the life of me think of anything SUPER interesting to list fun facts about this Friday, so you’re going to learn some facts about me instead. Im sorry and you’re welcome.

1. I am obsessed with animals

I get maybe a little too emotional about animals and cute things animals do. I have owned guinea pigs, bearded dragons, an array of different fish, hamsters, green cheeked conures, dogs and cats. 

2. I have three siblings

I have two brothers and one sister. Somehow my parents managed to have the boy-girl-boy-girl pattern happen. My home was a circus growing up, because we’re all so close in age, and I’m surprised my mom didn’t go completely insane

3. My little sister was born on my third birthday

 I dont remember what its like to have my own birthday, and now that we life so far away its still weird not having someone that cares that its your birthday as much as you care that its your birthday.

4. My husband tricked me into falling in love with him.

Okay, its not as bad as it sounds. He had been in love with me for YEARS. We have known each other since we were 12, and we’ve been best friends for 7 years. When he went into the marines i realized that he was more than my best friend, i was in fact in love with him. He ended up getting an ELS due to downsizing (thats a whole story in itself )and we’ve been together since he got home. 5 years today actually. 

5. I suck at keeping my house clean

I would rather do anything else. Watch tv, sleep, stare at the ceiling not doing anything. Its not that I’m lazy, its that I get easily overwhelmed. If I clean I can’t do a simple pick up and wipe down, I have to do the whole 9 yards of organization and scrubbing. I turn a mole hill into a mountain. 

6. I don’t have a drivers license

Yes. I’m 24 and I don’t drive. Im terrified of driving, I even have nightmares about it. I know I need to get my drivers license, I hate being stuck and rely on people to take me places, but I never took drivers ed as a teenager, nobody would take me to drive and honestly its a little embarrassing to attempt to get my license as an adult because i care too much what strangers think.

7. I have a sleeping problem

I could sleep 14 hours and be exhausted, I could sleep 8 hours and be exhausted. I dont remember a time when I wasn’t exhausted. Even as a kid I remember not being able to wake up enough to go to school and focus. I always wanted to go to sleep. I have tried to reset my sleeping schedule, I have tried taking supplements to give me energy, I have tried sleeping with and without white noise, I have tried sleeping with and without the tv. I am always tired and I could sleep for years.

8. I paint to relieve stress and anxiety attacks

I follow along with painting tutorials from The Art Sherpa most of the time, because its nice to paint and understand how do get things to look right and why they look right when you do certain things.

9. Mozzarella sticks are my one true weakness

If I have the option, mozzarella sticks are always what i choose as a treat. My husband uses this to his advantage and bribes me with them, and coffee, to get up and do things I dont want to go do. Also he uses them to cheer me up, because if melted cheese doesn’t make you smile, what are you even doing with your life? Avoiding dairy because you’re lactose intolerant, because same, but I don’t listen.

10. I procrastinate

I have been doing it all day, i was supposed to clean my kitchen, and instead I FaceTimed with my mom so my nephew could play a strange version of hide and seek with her. I also need to start packing my house, because my lease is up sometime in April, and I can’t get myself to do that. Mostly because what do you pack when you want to throw everything you don’t use away?

 

So there are some very odd and out of place facts about me. I hope you enjoyed at least one of them, because i enjoy most of them.

Kids are freaking smart dude.

My 5 year old nephew is smart. He’s witty and sarcastic and clever. He makes me proud. He also forced me to buy a $5 scratch ticket, because when I put the money in the machine he wanted to hit the button, and hit the wrong one. So we’re not going full blown rocket scientist smart yet. 

He’s also a bit of a worrier. 

Yesterday, out of the blue, he asked me if a tornado could pull a roof off of a house. I asked him why and he said that he learned about wind at school that day. He was worried that a tornado was going to destroy our houses. Which is cute, because there’s a slim to none chance that a tornado could be formed between the hilly mountain surrounded town we live in. He was still worried. 

It was more than worry though. He wanted to see a tornado and what it could do. The will to know and learn in such a little mind, that can barely focus on a task for more than 5 minutes, blew me away. We watched storm chaser videos and science videos for an hour. We watched tornados, hurricanes, cyclones, earthquakes.

 The more we watched and the more he listened to the explanations of why and where these things happened, the less he worried. He wanted to know more, he wanted to learn it all. Watching that little kid sponge up information that is usually learned at a much older age was magical to me. Watching him learn and knowing I helped teach him something made me feel so good. 

He’s still a little worried about tornados, but he’s now more worried about floods. He told me that I need to get sand bags in case of a flood. I think that may be a lesson for another day. 

I spent a day playing god

I recently remembered I have the sims 3 on my computer. How I ever forgot, I dont know, but for the last day I have been lost in a wormhole. It started last night at 8pm with me saying i’ll just play for an hour or so, and next thing i knew it was 2AM. I was lost in time, inside of this fake reality and I LOVED it.

It started with me creating all new people, the perfect sims in my mind. I got them all set up, and gave them a lot of money using ‘MOTHERLODE’ because lets be honest, who doesn’t cheat at the sims for money? Anyway, I set the house up and made everything wonderful, and then I killed them one by one. I got bored with them, and they were annoying and its not real life, so why not. I guess I might be a monster if the sims had any real world concepts, but they can’t walk through a room if a chair is placed wrong, so who cares.

I started new and made a whole new person and set them up and sent them to college, and everything was going great, she was passing school, and had a boyfriend. I then got bored, and got her a new boyfriend, but I forgot to break things off with the old one. I have to say, watching two sims fight is one of the most hilarious things.

I dont know what it is about this game, but I got lost in it for HOURS today. I spent 6 hours laying around sick playing a game. I spent a day playing god, or a sim-like version of god. Maybe its the need for controlling every situation and outcome that i have, but I love this game. I have no regrets about playing all day long, although i do regret killing off the beautiful people i created. I think I would rather live in this pretend world all the time.  If I have to be sick, i guess this was the best way to spend a day.

The flu struck my house.

The flu struck my house this weekend, and I’m pretty sure my husband was one step away from laying out his will. I will never understand why men become such big babies when they get sick. Granted, I do feel bad for him because he rarely gets sick, but my god is he whiny.

In the course of one hour I was getting him soup and taking his temperature and reheating his soup that he didn’t eat and getting him another blanket and reheating his soup for the third time. By the end of the day I was just as exhausted as the fever was making him. 

Do they not realize that they’re whiny and grumpy and have reverted back to being a child? I really don’t understand. And as much as I would love to tell him do do everything himself like he does to me when I’m sick (although, I get it, I’m sick a lot) I can’t be cause I feel bad, because you know, he’s sick.

Bath time is a great time

Have you ever accidentally snorted the dust off of a bath bomb? It hurts, bad, but by the fizzing in your nose you can tell if you’re going to feel like you’re bathing in champagne or in almost flat soda water.

I have an undying love for bath products and I can’t wait to tell you all about a few of my favorites!

First there is the mermaid – Now i have learned first hand, DON’T SNIFF THIS IF YOU AREN’T ABOUT TO USE IT! It smells delicious, but it also has a small amount of glitter coating the outside that will then coat the outside of your face. The scent reminds me of a day at the beach, like a sweet breeze filled with salty air, you know, without having to get rid of sand for the next three weeks.. Its scented with a blend of sandalwood, sea salt, myrtle and cedar. By the time you are fully immersed in your bath, you will believe you are a mermaid under the sea! The best part about it is that you get the shimmer from the mica coating without being covered in flakes of glitter!

My second favorite product is something I have to have in my shower at all times! That is the Shower Mochi. All of it, it doesn’t matter what scent, i have never experienced anything like this before. Its solid when dry, but almost a play dough like consistency when wet and it lasts forever. I usually cut it up into four or six little pieces and grab two chunks before i shower. Just remember to keep them out of the water when not in use, they dissolve in water, slowly, but but that means you have less to use next time. I also hide half of them, because if I don’t my husband uses them whole because “they make the perfect body scratcher/cleaner” and I run out of them way too fast.

Next in line is the Silky Kimono Bath Bomb IF I COULD DIE IN A SCENT, it would be this one.This is the newest scent in the line of bath bombs, and not only does it smell fantastic, Look at how beautiful it is!!

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There’s also a matching body butter so even if you don’t have time to take a bath, you can still smell like you’re wrapped up in a warm blanket of love.

I could go on for days about how much I love these products, but I fear i have gone on long enough. Let me know, have you tried these products? Are you interested in trying these products? Do you also put your laptop on the toilet so you can watch netflix in the tub? That last one has nothing to do with anything, Im just curious if I’m the only one crazy enough to bring expensive electronics into a steamy room.

This post was brought to you by Slightly Melted, and the only way she paid me was by giving birth to me. I’m starting to think this may have been a 24 year plan..#conspiracy

She’s my spirit animal.

My little sister stole my birthday.

When I was two years old one of my first memories was of me standing in a circle with my dad, my mom, and my older brother. We were talking about what to name the new baby. “butt face” was my brothers suggestion. Honestly, I think she would have liked that name, she does like her poop jokes. My suggestion was “butterfly” which i can only assume was the better of the two. I mean if they were asking a 2 and 4 year old for advice on a siblings name I have no idea why her name isn’t butterfly. I mean other than the fact that my parents aren’t really what you would call free spirits.

When i was three, I woke up on my birthday, knowing fully it was my birthday. My grandma was in my house and my parents were nowhere to be found. This asshole decided to steal my sunshine, my spotlight, my birthday! It wasn’t planned like this, at least my mother has never admitted to it. But I have my theories on party planning savings and two for one toy sales. I have a ton of ill informed conspiracy theories surrounding my mother, but thats another story for another day.

I told everyone she was the best birthday present ever, I had my very own sister finally. Having two brothers already, this was a big deal to me. I finally got the sister I thought I always wanted.

Growing up, she stole my toys, and my clothes, and the attention. She is the smart witty one, she’s the one that tries hard at everything she does. When I was younger, it annoyed me. It was so irritating that she got away with everything, and that my parents were always so proud of her. It made me feel like she was the favorite and I didn’t like her for it. I used to say that I regret the words “best birthday present ever” because she clearly wasn’t as a teenager.

As an adult, I take that back. She is strong, and smart, and independent. She’s brave and not afraid to state her opinions and hold herself to what she believes. She’s my reality check. She’s my “talk to if you need a good laugh” person. She is my spirit animal.

I am so proud to have such a wonderful, strong, smart, caring, beautiful sister. I wouldn’t trade her for anyone else’s sister. If she knows it or not, she has been my best friend all her life. And she’s the only birthday gift I have never lost.

Do sea otters have pockets?

I had so much fun last Friday coming up with a list of fun facts, I decided to make it a weekly thing. So lets get into it!

Otters are most likely one of the cutest animals to ever exist. So when i googled “fun facts” to try to get an idea and when this popped up,screen-shot-2017-02-23-at-7-24-16-pm
I had no other option. So without further ado, lets learn about otters!

Fact #1

  • There are at least 13 known species of otters

more like 13 known species of cuties to dream of snuggling, but they’re wild animals so you love them from a distance.

Fact #2

  • The North American river otter has the least concern for extinction, but every other otter species falls somewhere on the endangered spectrum.

Poor sweet little babies I will save all of you, come move in with me, we can have cuddle parties and take nice long baths.

Fact #3

  • The giant otter can reach up to 6 feet (1.8 meters) in length

thats not a little baby, thats bigger than me. 

Fact # 4

  • when otters hold hands while sleeping, its called a raft

they even wrap seaweed or other plants around their hands to secure the bond. MY HEART IS MELTING!!!

Fact #5

  • Otters can juggle

its believed to be a play type of thing although it hasn’t been totally figured out yet, they could totally join the circus though!

Fact # 6

  • Sea otters use rocks to hammer abalone shells off the rocks and crack the hard shells of prey open

Can we get these guys some hammers? I feel like that would be SO much easier!

Fact #7

  • River otters mate for life

sea otters prefer to live a much more open lifestyle, and thats cool too. No judgement sea otters, you do you.

Fact#8

  • Sea otters live in the ocean for much of their life and only come to land every so often

river otters on the other hand stay on land most of the time to avoid getting waterlogged fur. They only use the water to travel and hunt. If I could use the river like a slip and slide I totally would.

Fact#9

  • A group of otters is called a romp

it makes sense, they seem like they like to play hard and party!

Fact#10

  • Sea otters have pockets

they use the pockets to bring stuff to the surface and to store their special eating rock in. I wonder what else those cute little suckers are smuggling, drugs? precious artwork? nobody would suspect an otter to steal the Mona Lisa, its the perfect crime!

So, now we know a bit more about otters possibly. I love learning about new things, and i hope you don’t mind that I make this a weekly thing. If you know anything about otters that I didn’t say, or i got something totally wrong feel free to let me know!

We’ve all done things we regret

Looking back and regretting things i have done is my specialty, we’ve all done things we regret, am i right? You know, like losing self control and eating your feelings in that whole pizza. Saying to yourself, “Im pretty sure i have my keys in here somewhere” as you grab your purse and walk out the door only to find that you completely locked yourself out. Not listening to a conversation and agreeing to do something for someone with the “oh yeah, totally” response because you don’t want to admit you were totally not listening. Saying “sorry Susan, I was too busy thinking about what a llama would look like with a full suit on to keep listening to you talk about how you have to move in three days” just isn’t a suitable answer sometimes ever. But now you’re stuck helping Susan move on your only days off in two weeks.

When i am sleep deprived and alone is when I do most of my regrettable things, like looking at an eyeshadow palette and thinking to myself “I wonder what this would look like if i put this all over my face” Well let me tell you, i have done just that.

Here are the saved snaps to prove the regret.img_0791img_0792img_0793img_0794img_0795

that face above my friends is what regret looks like. Eventually it all came off, but it took a little more work than it should have because apparently your pores like to suck up the pigment from eyeshadow. Totally should have thrown a primer on my face to avoid that, lesson learned.

What I’m getting at here, is that even if you regret something, theres always something you can learn from it. Don’t look back at your regrets and cringe, try to find the lesson in it.