Lets throw this back baby!

So, I have been in a bit of a funk lately, if you haven’t noticed. When i feel like writing something I cant think of anything and when I don’t feel like writing or am completely unable to write, I have a million ideas and a thousand things to say. I mean, I quickly forget about them the second I go to jot them down, because who would I be if I didnt to that, amirite? I was thinking about how social media used to be so simple when i was younger and it was new, it was about talking to my friends, not getting likes on a post. It was about being in the top 8 of multiple friends on Myspace and getting into feuds with those that wouldn’t place you in their top 8. Let me also clarify- I was in middle/high school when myspace was a thing, so that may have been the source of the feuds as well.

It got me thinking though, you know what I miss? Myspace surveys. I would spend HOURS doing those things. So, I whipped out the ol trusty google machine and found one that im going to do, right here, right now. Usually I save this for the end, but I feel like I owe it to you now.. I’m sorry, and you’re welcome. LETS THROW IT BACK BABY!

1. I wish I had more….


2. I wish people were….

Stalking me, at least i know im interesting a little bit if i have a stalker.

3. I wish I was …

not overheated at this current moment, this laptop is FRYING my legs.

4. I wish my friends…

were not busy with “families” and “working” all the time..¬†dont they know im the center of the universe?

5. I wish for…

more wishes. I dont see any rules against that. Fight me Susan

6. If I had a million dollars I would….

be set for life with the right investments.

7. If I could fly I would….

never have to face my fear of airport anxiety

8. I dream of a better….

espresso machine, mines on its last leg,

9. The rain reminds me of….

my mom.

10. I fear….

fucking everything all the time. and also not that much. its complicated

11. Stormy nights are….

the best nights. I sleep so well.

12. The sea is like….

am I supposed to come up with a simile for these ones? I was never good at that.

13. Eyes are…

for seeing? what else would they be for? smelling? although, can you imagine?

14. I cannot stand when….

my knees hurt. arthritis is one son of a bitch.

15. A song that reminds me of love is….

lips of an angel…just kidding, probably would have said that in 2005 though. ummmm, thinking out loud by ed sheeran? its my wedding song.

16. Love is….

bringing me a pb&j when i didnt ask

17. Hate is….

giving me strawberry or grape jelly.

18. Death is….

expected at some point.

19. Flowers are….

bee attracters.

20. If I could grow….

Like two inches taller that’d be nice. 5’1″ is not the best height for anything.

21. I would like….

to find out the mysteries of the world at some point

22. I need more….

shorts. its hot AF and im running out of clean clothes and i dont want to do the laundry

23. I wish I had less….

time to wait before we close on our house.. its been SO long here.

24. I would like to give….

anyone who is still reading this a big gold star and a hug. You’re a real trooper.

25. Life is….

dull as fuck. I should probably do something about that

26. My mom is….

a badass wonder woman. She has 4 needy adult children that she never has abandoned by the side of the road, though at some points im sure seemed tempting. We’re all ungrateful assholes

27. Poems are…

sometimes thoughtful, but cheesy most of the time.

29. Life can be so….

good. Im lucky I am where I am today.

30. Dreams are….

strange. I had a dream the other night that Scott adopted like 10 dogs and then wouldn’t let me lay in the dog pile with them. rude.


Well.. there you go a Myspace survey that surely chased you away from me forever. Please dont go! My ego I need you!

Again, Im sorry and you’re welcome.

(really though please come back, im not normally like this I swear.)

I’ve been too depressed to show up.

I feel like I have lost myself. I feel like I don’t have anything worth saying lately. Like no matter what, nobody is going to care about what I have to say. I’m in a bit of a downswing in my depression, and it’s making it hard to write anything. It’s making it hard to care about anything.

My friends are creating a summer tradition of doing a paint slide, and I have no interest in going, even though I went last year and loved it. I feel like nobody will want me there. I feel like nobody wants me around.

I’ve been too depressed to show up to my own life. I spend a lot of time staring at walls, and getting lost in my own head. I’ve been reading, and coloring, and binging on tv shows that aren’t all that worthwhile to invest my time in. 

I keep going missing. I just needed to take care of myself. Life is getting stressful, and the first thing I do is shut out the things that are easy. I will come back, I will be funny again, I will be better at this. 

I’m sorry and thank you. 

I got hurt doing something fun.

Sunday of Memorial day weekend I spent my morning photographing a marathon. For the rest of the week I have been paying for standing in one spot twisting back and forth to get shots of the racers. I have not been able to move, if I do I look like Quasimodo, hunched over and hobbling everywhere. The only solace i can take in not doing anything is I have my grandpa’s very cuddly kitten Jasper to comfort me.

On the bright side, i did get some great shots, like this one here:



It was around the lake, so the scenery was a big helper in getting some pretty shots. They are all pretty cookie cutter of one another, other than the smiles of some and the determination of others. There was one guy in particular that stood out to me (not this guy shown here) he was insanely positive and happy to be out and running and it was just so inspiring!

Being out in the sun and around the lake¬†also played a great role in a medium sized sunburn. I know what you’re thinking, “Nichole, ALWAYS remember sunscreen!” I did. My skin is so light that I think i would have to have SPF 10000 for it to work. That or I’m just lucky and always choose the faulty sunscreen. Either way, it was a good day. An exhausting day, but well worth it and even though I have to wake up at 5am to go take pictures of people running, I would SO do it again.


So here I am, on my grandparents couch minding my own business, letting the breeze blow in the house. All of the sudden, this humming bird flies in and lands on some flowers in the house and starts sucking nectar.¬†IT WAS AMAZING!¬†The little guy quickly flew out and I thought that would be the last I saw of him, but I was wrong, he came in a second time, I then¬†decided I needed to set my camera up to capture him doing it again.. but he didn’t come in a third time. He fought with another guy outside the door to see who would come in and who wouldn’t get the magical surprise inside.

Scott and I then decided to try and get them to come to the deck while I had my camera out there set to video so maybe I could get a few stills from that, but they didn’t come. I spent an hour after that sitting on the deck watching them flutter back and forth.

My grandpa has spent years coaxing these little guys to make their home in the fruit trees that stand in the middle of their back yard, they finally do. Knowing this I stood out in the middle of the trees with my camera anxiously waiting for one to come into frame. Those tiny little suckers are FAST!  I am proud to say though, i did get one brag worthy picture.

Humming bird.jpg

Side note: I have mentioned that I dabble in photography time to time, right? Not relevant right now, anyway back to my humming bird story.

I named him Ralph and he war cries when he dive bombs. Now every humming bird I see that looks like flit from Pocahontas in color is Ralph. It got me thinking though, NATURE IS SO BEAUTIFUL, GUYS! I feel like I need to share more of it with you, so here i am sitting in my temporary bedroom typing this out and declaring I am going to take more photos, and I am going to start sharing them with you here.

I don’t know if you’re into that sort of thing, but you’re welcome and I’m sorry.

The Happy Game

Im stressed, there are issues with buying my house, and packing sucks and I am stressed. I have spent two days trying to make progress on my house and I’m getting nowhere and its driving me nuts! My nephew and I play this game I call the happy game where I make him name three things that make him happy until he’s not angry or sad anymore. My stress and anxiety are preventing me from doing anything, so I think that I need to play the happy game. I’m only thinking about things that make me happy until I actually feel happy.

Three things that make me happy:

Spring makes me feel happy! Something about the grass greening up from the dead yellow, and flowers beginning to bloom makes everything seem a little more right in the world. Maybe its also because i was born in the summer and i came into the world when it was warm and bright. Spring is a very calming season for me.


I am the kind of person that opens the windows during a storm so I can hear the rain pour and thunder crash. I secretly hope the power goes out for a few hours just so I can light the dark room with candles and enjoy the silence that it brings when theres no electricity humming in the background. It brings a sense of comfort to me knowing that all I have to worry about is the moment I am in. I don’t have to find something to occupy my time like finding a movie or show on netflix.

The last time the power went out I only had tea light candles and nothing to put them in, so I got creative. Wine glasses work perfectly, and they also make it easy to carry them with you room to room. I am not a fan of unattended candles, house fires are my literal nightmare, so figuring that out was the best life hack I have ever uncovered.


I might love animals a little too much. When animals do cute things, sometimes I cry. When I have a bad dream or I’m too sad to function, I watch videos of baby otters. Puppies can be used as a negotiating tactic for me, and 99% of the time it works. Not even offering to get me a puppy, offering to let me pet or look at puppies is good enough. I have a hard time when it comes to going to an animal shelter because I want to take them all home and make them my best friends. If I could I would have a aviary sanctuary in my home. I still remember what its like to be bit by a small parrot, and I’m willing to risk that just to have a dozen happy birds living with me.


This was the happy game, slightly altered to my writing needs. If you feel sad or angry, or are just bored, I suggest giving it a try. Right now i feel better, and I know the stress will come creeping back, because my brain is an asshole, but for now I know I can breathe.


I might be the most interestingly boring person ever

I have been a lazy sick human lately, and i can’t for the life of me think of anything SUPER interesting to list fun facts about this Friday, so you’re going to learn some facts about me instead. Im sorry and you’re welcome.

1. I am obsessed with animals

I get maybe a little too emotional about animals and cute things animals do. I have owned guinea pigs, bearded dragons, an array of different fish, hamsters, green cheeked conures, dogs and cats. 

2. I have three siblings

I have two brothers and one sister. Somehow my parents managed to have the boy-girl-boy-girl pattern happen. My home was a circus growing up, because we’re all so close in age, and I’m surprised my mom didn’t go completely insane

3. My little sister was born on my third birthday

 I dont remember what its like to have my own birthday, and now that we life so far away its still weird not having someone that cares that its your birthday as much as you care that its your birthday.

4. My husband tricked me into falling in love with him.

Okay, its not as bad as it sounds. He had been in love with me for YEARS. We have known each other since we were 12, and we’ve been best friends for 7 years. When he went into the marines i realized that he was more than my best friend, i was in fact in love with him. He ended up getting an ELS due to downsizing (thats a whole story in itself )and we’ve been together since he got home. 5 years today actually. 

5. I suck at keeping my house clean

I would rather do anything else. Watch tv, sleep, stare at the ceiling not doing anything. Its not that I’m lazy, its that I get easily overwhelmed. If I clean I can’t do a simple pick up and wipe down, I have to do the whole 9 yards of organization and scrubbing. I turn a mole hill into a mountain. 

6. I don’t have a drivers license

Yes. I’m 24 and I don’t drive. Im terrified of driving, I even have nightmares about it. I know I need to get my drivers license, I hate being stuck and rely on people to take me places, but I never took drivers ed as a teenager, nobody would take me to drive and honestly its a little embarrassing to attempt to get my license as an adult because i care too much what strangers think.

7. I have a sleeping problem

I could sleep 14 hours and be exhausted, I could sleep 8 hours and be exhausted. I dont remember a time when I wasn’t exhausted. Even as a kid I remember not being able to wake up enough to go to school and focus. I always wanted to go to sleep. I have tried to reset my sleeping schedule, I have tried taking supplements to give me energy, I have tried sleeping with and without white noise, I have tried sleeping with and without the tv. I am always tired and I could sleep for years.

8. I paint to relieve stress and anxiety attacks

I follow along with painting tutorials from The Art Sherpa most of the time, because its nice to paint and understand how do get things to look right and why they look right when you do certain things.

9. Mozzarella sticks are my one true weakness

If I have the option, mozzarella sticks are always what i choose as a treat. My husband uses this to his advantage and bribes me with them, and coffee, to get up and do things I dont want to go do. Also he uses them to cheer me up, because if melted cheese doesn’t make you smile, what are you even doing with your life? Avoiding dairy because you’re lactose intolerant, because same, but I don’t listen.

10. I procrastinate

I have been doing it all day, i was supposed to clean my kitchen, and instead I FaceTimed with my mom so my nephew could play a strange version of hide and seek with her. I also need to start packing my house, because my lease is up sometime in April, and I can’t get myself to do that. Mostly because what do you pack when you want to throw everything you don’t use away?


So there are some very odd and out of place facts about me. I hope you enjoyed at least one of them, because i enjoy most of them.

I spent a day playing god

I recently remembered I have the sims 3 on my computer. How I ever forgot, I dont know, but for the last day I have been lost in a wormhole. It started last night at 8pm with me saying i’ll just play for an hour or so, and next thing i knew it was 2AM. I was lost in time, inside of this fake reality and I LOVED it.

It started with me creating all new people, the perfect sims in my mind. I got them all set up, and gave them a lot of money using ‘MOTHERLODE’ because lets be honest, who doesn’t cheat at the sims for money? Anyway, I set the house up and made everything wonderful, and then I killed them one by one. I got bored with them, and they were annoying and its not real life, so why not. I guess I might be a monster if the sims had any real world concepts, but they can’t walk through a room if a chair is placed wrong, so who cares.

I started new and made a whole new person and set them up and sent them to college, and everything was going great, she was passing school, and had a boyfriend. I then got bored, and got her a new boyfriend, but I forgot to break things off with the old one. I have to say, watching two sims fight is one of the most hilarious things.

I dont know what it is about this game, but I got lost in it for HOURS today. I spent 6 hours laying around sick playing a game. I spent a day playing god, or a sim-like version of god. Maybe its the need for controlling every situation and outcome that i have, but I love this game. I have no regrets about playing all day long, although i do regret killing off the beautiful people i created. I think I would rather live in this pretend world all the time.  If I have to be sick, i guess this was the best way to spend a day.

Bath time is a great time

Have you ever accidentally snorted the dust off of a bath bomb? It hurts,¬†bad, but by the fizzing in your nose you can tell if you’re going to feel like you’re bathing in champagne or in almost flat soda water.

I have an undying love for bath products¬†and I can’t wait to tell you all about a few of my favorites!

First there is the¬†mermaid¬†– Now i have learned first hand, DON’T SNIFF THIS IF YOU AREN’T ABOUT TO USE IT! It smells delicious, but it also has a small amount of glitter coating the outside that will then coat the outside of your face. The scent reminds me of a day at the beach, like a sweet breeze filled with salty air, you know, without having to get rid of sand for the next three weeks.. Its scented with a¬†blend of sandalwood, sea salt, myrtle and cedar. By the time you are fully immersed in your bath, you will believe you are a mermaid under the sea! The best part about it is that you get the shimmer from the mica coating without being covered in flakes of glitter!

My second favorite product is something I have to have in my shower at all times! That is the¬†Shower Mochi. All of it, it doesn’t matter what scent, i have never experienced anything like this before. Its solid when dry, but almost a play dough like consistency when wet and it lasts¬†forever.¬†I usually cut it up into four or six little pieces and grab two chunks¬†before i shower. Just remember to keep them out of the water when not in use, they dissolve in water, slowly, but but that means you have less to use next time. I also hide half of them, because if I don’t my husband uses them whole because “they make the perfect body scratcher/cleaner” and I run out of them way too fast.

Next in line is the Silky Kimono Bath Bomb IF I COULD DIE IN A SCENT, it would be this one.This is the newest scent in the line of bath bombs, and not only does it smell fantastic, Look at how beautiful it is!!

Screen Shot 2017-02-23 at 5.44.00 PM.png

There’s also a¬†matching body butter¬†so even if you don’t have time to take a bath, you can still smell like you’re wrapped up in a warm blanket of love.

I could go on for days about how much I love these products, but I fear i have gone on long enough. Let me know, have you tried these products? Are you interested in trying these products? Do you also put your laptop on the toilet so you can watch netflix in the tub? That last one has nothing to do with anything, Im just curious if I’m the only one crazy enough to bring expensive electronics into a steamy room.

This post was¬†brought to you by¬†Slightly Melted, and the only way she paid me was by giving birth to me. I’m starting to think this may have been a 24 year plan..#conspiracy

Things I do that I shouldn’t

I do some strange things, and some seriously “Nichole what the fuck” things. I have very little self control when it comes to indulging in the things I love. Here are a few of the things I know I should stop doing, but probably won’t.

  • Get up to eat after I have gone to bed

Every time I go to bed I lay there and realize I’m starving. Late night snacks are the best though.

  • Watch real life horror stories on YouTube

I once was paranoid that someone was living in my house under the radar because of a YouTube video and some suspicious evidence that turned out to be my husband sleepwalking

  • Eat like a toddler

I could eat chicken strips and totinos pizzas until I die.

  • Drink a redbull and a quad shot latte in the same day

I know I could actually die from the caffeine intake, but they’re both so delicious how can I choose only one?

  • Avoid brushing my teeth because I’m not going anywhere

Disgusting, I know. It’s only sometimes. But if I’m alone all day, and my mouth feels not gross when I wake up I will wait until later or even until bed time to brush my teeth.

  • Do the smell and wear test on shirts

I’m lazy and hate doing laundry every day, okay?

  • Drink until I’m sick

I don’t drink often, but when I do, it’s usually until I regret it. I mean my max is 3 cocktails.. and they’re sooo yummy, why not one more?

  • Eat apples

I’m allergic to apples. I get covered in strange hives that last for weeks. Every now and then though I have to have one. I LOVE apples! Around the holidays I usually have Claritin on hand in case of apple pie.

  • Care what strangers think

Which is weird, because why the hell should I? I mean yeah the guy over there is staring at me making puns, but why the fuck would I get quiet because of that? ¬†He probably thinks I’m hilarious too, and if you’re right and he thinks you’re obnoxious, who the hell cares? *does not apply to real life

  • Avoid responsibility until it’s too much to handle

I hate house work, I have a mountain of laundry to do 90% of the time because I wait until it’s too late to start doing the work.

Facts about coffee that you might not have known

I have an unhealthy obsession with coffee. It is near and dear to my heart unlike any other drink, so I thought that I might share some facts about the heavenly liquid that I thought were pretty neat. Here we go!

  • Coffee is actually a fruit

Now you can say that you have fruit in the morning 

  • Coffee “beans” as we know them are actually the pit of the coffee cherry

I would have never guessed! Maybe thats why coffee goes so well with chocolate?

  • Coffee was originally consumed as wine made from the pulp of coffee cherries.

Drunk off of coffee? YES PLEASE!

  • you can overdose on coffee

it would take over 100 cups of coffee though so unless you have a health condition, don’t worry!

  • There is more¬†caffeine in a single cup of drip coffee than a shot of espresso

12 oz brewed coffee has about 120 milligrams of caffeine where as a one ounce shot of espresso has about 40 milligrams

  • The industry standard serving size for a cup of coffee is 6 ounces

UMM… I’m going to need WAY more coffee than that to get through my day!

  • Finland is the most¬†caffeinated country

The average adult in Finland drinks 4-5 cups a day

  • Dark roasts have less¬†caffeine than a light roast

The roasting process burns off the caffeine content, which is how we get decaf coffee.

  • Decaf coffee isn’t completely¬†caffeine free

there can be 8.6 to 13.9 milligrams of caffeine in each cup of coffee depending on how dark it is.

  • You can pay $600 a pound for coffee that comes out of an animal’s butt.

YES, You read that correctly. Its called Kopi Luwak or Civet coffee. Coffee cherries are eaten by a¬†Vietnamese¬†weasel called an asian palm civet OR Luwak,, which then ferment in the stomach. The Civet then poops out the undigested¬†beans and they are cleaned and roasted for selling purposes. Supposedly they create a smooth, chocolaty coffee, but you¬†couldn’t PAY me to drink that let alone have me pay $600 for a pound of poop coffee.

  • The word espresso means “when something is forced out”

Which sounds deeply disturbing after talking about coffee an animal poops out, but this is talking about the water pressure process of the boiling water pushing through the grounds at a fast forced rate creating a rich, bold and creamy taste.

I hope you learned something, or at least found it interesting. I know I did and I learned something about myself in the process which is I will never drink Kopi Luwak, and I’m not one to shy away from coffee.