I’ve been too depressed to show up.

I feel like I have lost myself. I feel like I don’t have anything worth saying lately. Like no matter what, nobody is going to care about what I have to say. I’m in a bit of a downswing in my depression, and it’s making it hard to write anything. It’s making it hard to care about anything.

My friends are creating a summer tradition of doing a paint slide, and I have no interest in going, even though I went last year and loved it. I feel like nobody will want me there. I feel like nobody wants me around.

I’ve been too depressed to show up to my own life. I spend a lot of time staring at walls, and getting lost in my own head. I’ve been reading, and coloring, and binging on tv shows that aren’t all that worthwhile to invest my time in. 

I keep going missing. I just needed to take care of myself. Life is getting stressful, and the first thing I do is shut out the things that are easy. I will come back, I will be funny again, I will be better at this. 

I’m sorry and thank you. 

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