I never knew how terrifying buying a house would be. My anxiety is at an all time high and I just want to curl into a ball and say fuck this.
We FINALLY found a house we love and they accepted our offer. Now we move to the financing stage of this whole terrifying process. I feel like I am walking into a dark room blindfolded. It’s the first big adult life choice my husband and I are making together, and it’s exciting. I also want to hide and let him deal with all of it until it’s over so I don’t have to play the “what if” game over and over again.
It has a few cosmetic things that need to be fixed, but it’s pretty, and big, but not too big. It has a decent back yard and a hot tub. Enough rooms to make me feel like if we ever have children we don’t have to move or add on. Its nearly perfect.
I really can’t wait to go scrub every inch of that house and make it my own. I can’t wait to paint the walls whatever color I like without someone telling me I can’t. I can’t wait to hang pictures on the wall using nails and screws instead of tacks and a lot of hoping it won’t fall!
Mostly I can’t wait to move somewhere where I can’t hear my neighbor pee in the middle of the night. I won’t have to hear the crazy couple adjacent to me fighting. I won’t have to worry if it’s too late to do my laundry, just in case my washer starts jumping.
I’m nervous, excited and scared, all in one feeling. I’m eager to start this new chapter in our life. I really hope we don’t fail.